This is me in a Poker Tournament

I could never play competitively for one reason; I would strangle the motherfuckers sitting there playing with their chips nonstop. Are you a fucking bored 5 year old that can’t sit still for 10 seconds or is this actually a strategy to annoy people? If it is, then I should be able to use my strategy of breaking your fucking fingers to shut you the fuck up.

Or, of course, I could ride that wave of white noise to victory.