Monthly Archives: April 2014

Mom and Dad: No Parenting Schism

What bugs me about all the articles saying being a mom is the hardest job in the world is that they invariably don’t even try to mention, hey, being a dad is often just as hard. It’s happening already but if there’s going to be progress on dads doing their part at home, then there needs to be some acknowledgment that this work is being done. Not so much for the acknowledgement but because not to do so gives the strong impression that the dad’s role is being ignored, and to me at least, it seems like moms (in general) ARE always in need of this acknowledgement, which isn’t the case, either.

So, off this post at Jezebel about a job description for a mom/ mum comes the best comment I’ve read in a while along the same lines, especially point A). From Megan Cook:

I am a mom and it is definitely a lot of work. Different work than my 8-5 corporate gig, but certainly work. But this bugs me for a few reasons.

A.) My husband does all of the same parenting things that I do. 50 / 50. We have different work schedules so we both have the kids by ourselves on our two days a week that we have off. Some days he may do more. Some days I may do more. But it is overall about as close to straight down the middle as I think you can get. So really I am not doing anything more spectacular just because I have a vagina thus making me the mom person.

B.) I most definitely do not have a degree in medicine or culinary arts. Me being able to put a bandaid on a scrapped knee or dose out the right amount of children’s Tylenol does not equate to a medical degree which takes years and years and in the end you can save lives. That is why we have a pediatrician that we trust. Because half the time I don’t know if it is measles or a heat rash I am looking at. Me being able to cook a healthy meal for my kids also does not make me a chef. I know a lot of chefs. They work crazy hours, give up holidays, and in many cases are true artists. My Mac n cheese surprise with broccoli bits is not art. The same way that other moms knowing how to use coupons or keep a household budget is not the same as my financial degree that I worked my ass off for and continue to work my ass off for in my demanding as fuck job and continued education.

So pretty much – this is crap.

I have always thought that everyone should be an equal and tried to accomplish that. (Really, it more inbuilt, it’s not like I’m thinking every day, “try to do better”) tried to be an equal. Not just as a parent but as a partner. That doesn’t mean every day will be 50/50, it doesn’t mean I always succeed but it does mean that overall, there is and both people feel they are contributing to the relationship, to parenting.

That Easter Chill

Holidays bring happy times and cold quick rashes of fear. These are almost always brought on by surprises coming at your knees. Or at least knee level in the form of – and this is what makes it piercingly painful and progressively poignant – words said in the most sweetest, excited happy way possible.

Words like “Happy Easter, Daddy” shouted behind you. OK to be honest they weren’t said any louder than any other time but the bunny ears I had on at the time magnified the sound.